Can't Sleep Templars Will Get Me

I am a liberal-arts student with lots of strong opinions about fairly inconsequential things, like grammar and history and the workings of the universe. I spend most of my time reading dusty old books that all sane people find extremely boring. The rest of the time, I read newer books that are still dusty but not necessarily so boring; I write silly stories; I fill unsuspecting blocks of foam with arrows; I torture a violin when I feel the need for musical expression; I fence with the saber; I make costumes for the nearest theatre production; and I do my best to live in whatever historical period has most recently captured my fancy. I am ridiculously fond of absurd hats. I would rather be living in the Rub'al-Khali, riding camels, eating sheep boiled in butter, and blowing up trains. I may occasionally be found in the herb garden, fighting a losing battle against the spearmint; on tall ships, doing nautical things and getting myself all over tar; or at the beach, trying to outsmart the waves that like to hurl me from my longboard. I like to make things of all kinds: clothes, books, pointless clockwork devices, curiosities, food, absurd hats. In the midst of all these activities, I am constantly downing improbable quantities of tea and making terrible puns.